Chapter 11

Bored, bored, bored!!  Got fuck all to do.  All the kids have been right little bastards lately especially my Peggy-Sue.  I fell preggers with her havin a one nighter with the sexy bouncer behind the back of where he worked.  It was one of the most romantic nights ever!  He must of been so turned on as we shagged for a whole 2 mins when he had a fag break.  My Peggy-Sues’ name was lit up in bright lights as he shafted me from behind, I just knew it was a sign.  Thinking about It I am just like the Beckhams, they’ve got Brooklyn and Ive got Peggy-Sue and Joanna!!!  I wouldn’t leave whats his names side as he checked people into his club so he must of really thought I was wife material.  Weird I didn’t see him again after that night, and my growler never smelt the same again.

Peggy-Sue has mentioned something about her teacher wanting to see me and being in a school play today, fuck that!!  Theatre aint my thing!!

Luckily me old mate Julie has given me a one ringer so our plan to window shop is on.
We look the dog bollocks stomping through Fratton in our ‘ Pauls Bootique’ jackets which Ju got from a geezer in the Cross Keys called Dodgy Dave..he said that they’re the real macoy and that” bootique” was spelt like that. He seemed genuine enough.

We continued to walk up the highstreet like a pair of demented spaz’s as my fricking feet were throbbing like a gooden.  My fake Uggs made me walk on the inside of my feet, rubbing my corns.
Ju has managed to chore some bleached blonde, cork-screw style hair extensions from Wilkinsons.  She said it doesn’t matter that me hair is dark as the extensions will cover it when she glues ’em in.  She knows what she’s on about our Ju as she had 2 weeks trident in Hair OTT.

Dwayne won’t know what’s hit him when he stumbles in…..I canny wait for him to come home with our Pompey Nosh takeaway after his afternoon down the Grove club.
Watching him slurp his Tennants and eat his scran turns me right on.
I can real my minge throbbing like a gooden so I run my toe nails up his flea bitten leg.
Before I know it there’s kebeb meat everywhere and Dwayne is ram min pitta bread into my gob and rubbing doner into my stretch mark stomach.  My body is flipping like a gold fish havin an eppy when Dwayne eats me……He licks what looks like mayo from his chops…strange I’m sure he said there was a break in down there and some cheap skate chored all the sauce.  Poor sod must of had a dodgy beer as he begins to gag, shudder and twitch, spewing his guts up over my feet.

Tyson’s been lovin every minute as the greedy bastard has been eating all the meat.  As he jumps up to the table I quickly grab him in an headlock and a jab to the ribs makes him choke up the doner in his jaws…thank fuck for that as I was frickin starving!  I’ve only had 3 sausage and bean melts with 2 yum yums and a diet coke from Greggs all day.